Life goes on
Think of me with pride
One day, you’ll decide it’s over and never look back. a series of ‘what if’s no longer. You know. The clarity behind decisions is forever. Life will go on. You will grow and think of the good and the bad. Every lesson, whether learned through experience or through hurt, will push you to a new version of yourself. Sometimes people come into your life to teach you something about yourself. You learn to take projects. You meticulously chose the longest project and ended up dumbfounded. Retrospectively it makes sense but it didn’t at the same time. Who do you mourn when there is no one left to mourn? Who were they really if what they presented was all a farce? You sit in befuddlement wondering who could put on such a spectacle or how one had the time. The integrity of their words faded when the illusion you created was actually the polar opposite of what you imagined. blessed to have been too busy to second guess any of the signs
you meet people for a million reasons which we only then realize after they’ve remained a character, frozen in that chapter of your life. So what was the reason? You learned, being vulnerable is sexy. You said how you felt for the first time in your life. You didn’t play coy or try to brush over things when something bothered you, You named it. you didn’t let someone trick you into thinking your feelings didn’t matter. You believed they did, and know it now still. with every loss there is knowledge gained. You feel empathy because you were hardwired to understand. I'll laugh at our jokes admirably because they’ll lay in the year I learned so much about my emotional bandwidth. the only one showered with kisses all over their face with their head in my hands, having had sealed them all on tip of their nose lovingly, and with a smile. think of me with pride. Was it ever a loss if you got to show someone hardened by the hurt of their past that good people still exist? That kindness given is never lost. Even now you see the beauty in a negative situation, and manage to transmute it into something people can relate to. Because we all fall. because we all cry. deservingly or not, you don’t hold the responsibility you assumed.
you knew who you were way before them and know it now. never let someones self doubt and insecurity take precedence. They will search and search, try to find the answers in you. they’ll search for what you have because they’re incapable of knowing what it’s like to be sincere. their life will remain a facade, a lie that they fight with every day. unsure of what they’ll be, im sure of what ill be. A ghost. forever to be mourned for the kind soul shared, the trust that was snatched; the risk of rejection never a fear but a thrill to be relished in. The mirror you lacked, now to rest peacefully with you and this chapter. The consequences of their actions, a self fulfilling and deprecating prophecy long overdue. Ultimately splitting you from the self that you know. Are you only one MORE love short of happiness? you’ve left yourself, fall away. with hope that you’d build me up and not get me down, I untied myself.
